These are original bits of humor by me or as
Copyright © 1997 Rod Carty.
You know how the news is noticeably biased
Christian values, and uses opportunities to downplay successes and
efforts? To give them some credit, I realize they don't understand much
of it and so cannot report accurately. Well, I got to thinking about
this kind of reporting would be like in certain situations recorded in
the Bible. For example, just imagine the environmental outcry if a
with greater faith than the size of a mustard-seed really were to tell
a mountain to move into the sea.... The best way to read these is to
to the same passage in your Bible and read the two in parallel. Above
have a laugh - please don't get upset at my "heresy".
Receive a clean joke each day in your email!
- These web pages are no deposit, no return, however they are
to you on 100% recycled electrons.
- This web site not yet compatible with scratch 'n sniff monitors.
- No animals were harmed during the development and testing of this
- Time limit exceeded, please insert additional coins to continue.
- I'd like door number three, please.
- The information presented in this publication has been carefully
- Enjoy this low-cal version while you can, because the next TCP/IP
to be loaded with preservatives.
- Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
- Web site 100% Y2K compliant, unless humans suddenly lose the
comprehend 2-digit dates.
- Never accept wooden nickels, or cookies from strangers.
- This screen resolution ain't big enough for the both of us. I'm
you 'till high noon to get out a dodge.
- In God we trust. All others dial in with SecurID.
- Whould you like fries with that? Very well then, which
I apply it to?
- Computer headaches? Take two buffered parity bits and call me in
- Now anyone can afford that dream vacation! Just sue your neighbor!
- Customer satisfaction guaranteed or double your electrons back.
- Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?
- Jaywalking is such an utterly pedestrian thing to do!
- User error! Replace user and press any key to continue.
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money won't make me happy.
- Excuse me, I have to go now. My two buddies from the institute
to try on this special jacket with the extra-long sleeves.
- If I'm lying, let God strike me dea#$%^*&*(*(NO CARRIER