20 Things I Learned From The Movies
  1. Bad guys are lousy shots. Some good guys are equally lousy shots so that standing ten feet apart and firing for several minutes will still leave both untouched. Other good guys are such good shots that they don't even have to look at the target.
  2. When being shot at the good guy only has to duck his head and squint to make the bullets veer into the dirt around him.
  3. Good guys' guns almost never run out of bullets unless it's a revolver, in which case it will have one bullet less than needed.
  4. Good guys' guns are so powerful sometimes the bad guy is hit even before the good guy shoots.
  5. It's always fatal to announce that you miss your wife/sweetheart/kids just before a firefight.
  6. Cars always explode in a ball of fire an instant before collision, and as soon as they begin to fall over a cliff. One or two shots by the good guy into the trunk will often cause the car to explode too.
  7. In hand to hand combat the bad guys wait their turn to fight the good guy rather than gang up on him.
  8. The faster you drive the more vigorously you have to wrench the steering wheel back and forth continuously, even on a straight road.
  9. If the situation is desperate enough, you can squeal your tires even on sand or gravel.
  10. No matter where you punch the bad guy it will always sound like your third-grade teacher's ruler striking your desk.
  11. All vehicles in a chase have the endurance of tanks, except marked police cars.
  12. The amount of damage caused is directly proportional to the value of the property.
  13. If the good guy seems to be easily winning against the bad guys it's only because they haven't yet identified the person most important to him in the whole world who is in with their hostages.
  14. Bad guys shot with a single bullet will be thrown violently off their feet backwards but if shot with an automatic weapon or several other guns at once will stand there and jerk spasmodically. They will continue to stand even when dead until the shooting stops.
  15. Wearing a bullet-proof vest means you will never be shot anywhere but in the vest. You will have to ruin your shirt by tearing it open after being shot.
  16. If the bad guys have a huge stash of drugs, they'll also have containers of gasoline or some highly explosive substance conveniently close by for the good guy to destroy it with.
  17. If you can't make a face that shows how serious you are, looking constipated is a good substitute.
  18. Developing a romantic interest with someone is almost certain to get them killed.
  19. A sure way to get the girl to follow you into a dangerous situation is to tell her to stay back out of danger.
  20. If you encounter a geeky, awkward, bespectacled guy, give him a break - he could be a superhero in disguise.

By: Rod Carty.