CPU .............. What one might say when pointing at something smelly.

ASCII ............. Something on one's foot for sliding down snow-covered hills.

RAM .............. An animal that lives on a mountain and never forgets.

Hard Drive ...... A race car game on the computer.

Floppy Drive ... A simulated malfunction in your race car.

Floppy ............ The simulated malfunctioning part.

EIE I/O ................. Old standard from McDonald Farms, Inc. (-Steve Bapty contribution.)

Spreadsheet ..... The technique needed to keep wrinkles out of bedding.

PS/2 ................ A second addendum at the end of a letter.

Micro Channel .. A creek running behind IBM's main factory.

Megabyte ........ What the salesman does to your wallet when you upgrade software, then have to upgrade hardware to run it.

Terminal ......... Clinical name for a fatal disease.

Multitasking .... Trying to get a computer to do what every good secretary does.

Reboot ........... Give the computer another kick.

Mag Drive ...... Another car game, but this one is with showcars.

Backup .......... Put your computer behind the tire of your car, put car in reverse, step on gas. (- Barb Carty contribution.)

Restore .......... Go to store where you bought your previous computer and buy another one. (- Barb Carty contribution.)

Information Highway .... The bits and pieces of your old computer after backup. (- Barb Carty contribution.)

Paperless Office ....... When you run out of printer paper again.

Compatible ......... Your money fits in the salesperson's wallet.

by: Rod Carty, except as noted.